played accoustic

You held my hand and then you slipped away
And I may never see your face again
So tell me how to fill the emptiness inside
Without love, what is life?
And anyone who knew us both can see
We always were the better part of me
I never wanted to be this free
And all this pain, when does it go away?

Then everytime I turn around
And you're nowhere to be found
I know

I gotta long long way to go
Before I can say goodbye to you
Oh, I gotta long long way I know
Before I can say goodbye
To all I ever knew, to you
To you

From memory there is no hiding place
Turn on the TV and I see you there
In every crowd there's always someone with your face
Everywhere, trying not to care

Then everytime I turn around
And you're nowhere to be found
I know

I gotta long long way to go
Before I can say goodbye to you
Oh, I gotta long long way I know
Before I can say goodbye
To all I ever knew

To you I wish you everything
And all the best that life can bring
I only hope you think of me sometimes
Oh, and even though I feel the pain
I know that I will love again
The time will come
Oh, and I'll move on

I gotta long long way to go
Before I can say goodbye to you
Oh, I gotta long long way I know
Gotta long way to go
Before I can say goodbye
Before I say goodbye
To all I ever knew
To all I ever knew
I gotta long way to go
Before I say
Say goodbye, say goodbye
But I wish you the best girl
Oh and all of the rest to you

I am

I'm just a little teenager, not the man i try to make myself out to be...

After everything I've done.

After everything i've done she still cares about me, after everything i've done, they still talk to me, after everything i've done i'm not hated. I make a big deal out of little things that pale in comparison to the things i've done to them. I dont know how i came to deserve people like that being concerned with any part of me. I've been selfish, foolish, hard hearted, and mean. The few things that really matter to me, that matter to me SO VERY MUCH, are the ones that i've hurt, and continue to hurt day by day. If someone would be so kind as to tell me why i deserve people like them, please tell me, why i deserve to be treated with the love and care i get from them? Why? After everything i've put them through, why do they still care?....

like it

So Kayla and i had a really good conversation last night, and she was over yesterday, i like that.

Kayla Marie Deutscher will always be good enough.

c-box

I've been having problems with my c-box, so i just took it off for now.
ttyall later

insane feelings

This week, to say the least, has had it's share of different emotions. I think i could give an example of every emotion i could think of, but i wont do that. Chelsea came home on Thursday, only to leave again this upcoming Thursday. That is quite bittersweet. Things with Chelsea are quite the same as before she left, such as how we play with eachothers feet at dinner, or how i play with her pony tail just because i know it annoys her, you know, the things little brothers do. We got up early and went sailing, that was fun, i guess, it's all quite bittersweet, knowing she wont come back for two years.
Now school...that's a whole other thing. I cant really express the way i feel about it, tom did pretty well i have to say, but i just know that it will always be extreamly close to my heart, as will all the people who i have gone there with.
I saw Kayla 3 times this week. Monday sailing, yesterday with steph walking gracie, and then tonight she was here for about 5 hours just hanging out, we took a walk, that was nice, and hung out with chelsea.
So there are alot of mixed emotions, and i know it's nothing really, but i cant get much sleep =/ not gunna lie, and i'm worried about afew of my friends, i hope they know i actually really do care...